Maybe if I was born earlier, or had more courage, I could have talked to him. Once. Just once. That was all I needed. People always talked about how true he was, how real. But I would never know that truth or that reality. I tied the blue, satin bow into my hair as I did every morning. I heard him say once that he liked the color blue, so I always made sure to wear something blue. Maybe one day I would stand out to him. But nothing ever really stood out to him. He was always alone in his own little world. A world covered in fog, long strips of highway and tall oak trees I saw him drawing once. I once drew him a picture of a mountain and slipped it into his locker. I watched him take it out of his locker and unfold it carefully. He looked at it, pulled his eyebrows together and smiled to himself.
I closed my eyes and once I opened them again, not even a split-second later, he was gone. Everything was gone. The hallways were covered in snow, the roof was gone, the walls that remained were still burnt. I closed my eyes again trying to take myself away to that mountain I drew him, hoping he’d be waiting for me at the top of it. Is a dream a lie if it doesn’t come true? Or is it something worse?
The mood of this piece is very consistently sad--I think your use of repetition adds to that mood. I'm not sure what happened to the boy who got the mountain picture (and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be) but it seems he may have died?
ReplyDeleteI really like this piece, Rebekah. You did an amazing job setting a sad, lonely tone. The fact that you don't know what happened to the boy leaves me wondering what happened to him. All in all, you did an amazing job! I would love to see you write more to this story! :)
ReplyDeleteGood morning Rebekah,
ReplyDeleteYour post was great! I liked the use of rhetorical questions toward the end of the piece. The use of weather and climate to describe "his own little world" was an element that made the story more descriptive. The way that you were able to get so many details into the short paragraph that started out talking about her blue bow. This was a really great microstory!
Andrew Siva